"Wake Me Up When September Ends..."

It's a sleepy September, a dreary fall, a crisp, wet start to the new school year. My world is full of transition and everything feels like it's changing around me. Just as the seasons of the year change, my life in its own seasons, must change. Have you ever felt like your relationships aren't keeping pace with your life and you need to evaluate what's next? I've definitely felt that way at different times in my life and once again, am experiencing a shift in my relationships--in particular, friendships.

I was telling my cousin the other day on the phone that I've been feeling different about my friendships--that they require different things, that they feel different, that they need to change as I change. Similarly, I was sharing with a dear friend also on the phone recently, that I had been feeling some distance with friends in general lately and feeling some inadequacy and some sense of loss over the state of my friendships. I also ended up chatting about this same issue with my hair stylist yesterday, so I must be on to something. It is always important to be truthful with yourself about what you need, what you value, and what works for you and sometimes as a result of that, things fall apart, but it's never easy. I remember being told that my relationships and especially friendships, would change, but never how much it would hurt or how many times things along the way would fall apart.

It's not always easy, it's not always linear, but it is always part of the process. On the other side of things, there are friendships that change but don't necessarily fall away--and distance and time actually bring strength and depth to the relationship. Today, I experienced that while checking in with one of my friends and former colleagues; we ended up having a really enriching and impactful conversation about purpose, decision making, coaching, and rest among other topics. It was just what we both needed at this very moment, and I'm so glad we chose to spend the time with each other despite the busyness. Which brings me to an important point: ultimately when it comes to relationships, it's all about choice. The choice to make time, the choice to be vulnerable, the choice to be truthful, the choice to be authentic, to open up, to try, to take a chance, or to allow someone to continue to be in your life. Each day we have so many chances to make choices that have the potential to change the trajectory of our relationships and ultimately, of our lives.

Although I am grieving the loss of relationships, it has also made me immensely grateful for the ones I do have, has sharpened my attention to my needs, awakened my desire to cultivate new relationships and put myself out there, and has fortified my appreciation for those closest to me. I am learning what I need in this season to show up as the best version of me, and quickly realizing that the season will also require different things from me and that I will need to move differently, uncomfortable as it may be.

I don't have a big lesson to share and honestly I wish I was less broken up about it and maybe feeling less vulnerable and hesitant but yet also brave and enthusiastic all at the same time. I rather just want to share and acknowledge that this journey of relationship-ing is tough, and if you're going through it in one way or another, I see you. You'll grow through it, hopefully elevate because of it, and perhaps even learn and draw inspiration from it. I also want to encourage you to be true to yourself, no matter how much it hurts, how lonely it gets, or how uncomfortable it may feel. You deserve it and you owe it to yourself to be you--no one else can do it. Your people will love you, and the world will be much better for it, at the end of the day, it is much more beautiful and peaceful to live in your truth.