Writers Corner: September 2024 Edition

Emotions. All of us have them, but our experiences with them are not equal. Some of us stuff them, some of us dismiss them, some of us compartmentalize them, some of us ignore them, some of us cherry pick the ones we like better, some of us let them lead our every move and decision. Ultimately, the power and the impact lies not in the emotions themselves, but rather in what we decide to do once we notice our emotions and the actions we decide to take as a result of those emotions. Emotions for me personally, have always been a challenge--I have felt mostly uneven in my way of navigating them--namely, that I have either let them rule and as a result felt highly volatile and unpredictable, or conversely, I have released and distanced myself from them and as a result felt numb and inauthentic. The magic of the in between has completely shifted my perspective and ability to show up more fully and open hearted and minded to experience more of life. I'm grateful for the tools that have been helpful in guiding me in and through navigating emotions, and emotional health, one of which is a book I just completed, Untangle Your Emotions: Naming What You Feel and Knowing What to Do About It, by Jennie Allen.

This gift of a book was thorough, honest, heartfelt, and vulnerable, and helped me to see that not only have I been not alone in my struggle with emotions, but also that I have already taken important steps forward by acknowledging my emotions, seeing them as valuable, and talking about them openly and honestly. There are so many different things that I learned from the book but there are a few nuggets that I'd like to share:

1. Emotions are beautiful and critical connectors that lead us deeper into relationship with God, ourselves, and others: without emotion, we don't experience the closeness and intimacy that we crave in the most treasured of relationships that we hold. With emotion, however, we experience the full range of possibility in these connections, helping us to determine how to move forward to honor them and guiding us toward vulnerability and growth.

2. It is one thing to feel an emotion, and it is another to name what we feel, acknowledge it, and choose a relevant and appropriate response to it: navigating emotions effectively and sensitively is a learned and practiced way of being, and a choice we make once we learn. To feel is to be alive, but how we feel makes the difference of how alive we will feel.

3. We learn our default emotional response and our attitude toward emotion early on: most of us, if we think carefully and honestly, can identify when our perspective and choices around emotions started to take a noticeable turn or when we even began to notice this part of ourselves. It is up to us to encourage, unlearn, or redeem this part of ourselves depending on what we did learn about it and how we were socialized to cope with it. This includes so called "negative emotions" or the ones that are harder to embrace, and that sometimes bring about hesitation.

I enjoyed this read, and it has reminded me how much reading matters to me and how I should make more time for it, and honor that time regularly. Reading on the topic of emotions, has also got me thinking I'd like to continue diving into this topic for my own knowledge, growth, and to better understand and relate to others.